From Out in the Snow Dec 22 2008

We’re still living in a New England winter here, in the Pacific Northwest. We thought that perhaps the rains would wash away the snow, but they have only served to turn the snow into ice and make the roads nice and treacherous. Woohoo!

Since our decorations were up since December 1st, we’ve taken them down - the photos are on the other computer, else I’d show you the mess the needles made when we took that poor dead Charlie Brown contender out of here - so many that Kiernen was playing in them as though they were sand. Kiernen was a trooper about taking everything down, but he still asks daily for “more presents”, and today when we uploaded the video from Christmas onto the computer, was so sad about seeing himself opening presents and NOT being able to open any more NOW, that he began crying, then eventually just wailing.

I am torn between comforting him, trying to intellectualize it all for him, trying to explain this arbitrary-seeming way we dole out presents ONLY on Solstice, Christmas, and birthdays…and just thinking, “why can you not appreciate what you’ve got?” (answer: because he is THREE - right?). And he DOES appreciate what he has - it’s just that he LOVES opening presents SO much! And he gets SO many cool things in his presents - that opening MORE can only be a good thing, right? Alas, alas, the world of being a parent. I am open to suggestions from seasoned (and unconventional) veterans on how to handle this without scarring him somehow for later therapy sessions. How to foster appreciation and also allow him to just be who he is? Don’t we all just want MORE PRESENTS sometimes?

The good news is that we’ve taken the video-watching down to one day (and usually just one movie-length worth of video, tonight being the exception) without too big of a deal. And we are all happier for it. Kiernen has become accustomed now to just finding things to do rather than requesting videos ALL the time - now he only asks for them every other day, and some days not at all. We’ve been trying to be clear about video day being on FRIDAY only, and naming the day that is it when he asks. Tonight he’d not even asked and he got to watch, and more than I’d really have liked. Poor planning on my part, and it DID end up in a meltdown after. No worries, I am just reminded that right: only the movie length of time (not unlimited watching), yes there is a reason for that. Ahem.

Baths are a regular occurrence, along with pooping! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to me, I am blissed out about this! We discovered that we’ve been harboring an abundance of tub toys in this house in the guise of regular old toys, and now he asks to take baths just so he can play with all of them IN THE WATER - huzzah! Fear of baths is a thing of the past! Whee!

This winter is turning out so differently than last year - we are really making lots of social connections here now, and Kiernen has several little friends to choose from to play with on a fairly regular basis. In fact, I’ve been taking advantage of this fact so much that it has become more a part of my routine than remembering to plan and make meals for the week, and as a result, I am seeing I need to adjust something in my routine. It has become that we wake up, get dressed, go upstairs, then as we are making breakfast, we call one or two of his playmates and invite them over to play. Then while they are here, I try and make myself my morning stuff and usually get interrupted about a hundred times to get stuff for the kids or intervene in some kind of dispute they are having. So my 15-minute morning juice ends up taking me 45 minutes to make, and I’m lucky if I get to drink it before lunchtime.

A happy problem to have - too many social opportunities! I will find my balance easily and soon.

Funny - as we are adjusting happily to living here, we are still trying to figure out where we want to make our forever home. As Kiernen gets comfortable with this place as his home, we are thinking about the bigger picture and where we REALLY want to live. Unfortunately there are some things I failed to consider in my excitement of moving into cohousing, and some of them are things one couldn’t possibly consider unless one had already lived here. I am not going to go much farther into this topic, as it is a post in itself, but I will say that there is MUCH to think about, and that I feel quite like I’m just not sure where we’re supposed to be anymore. We’re ALL ready to settle in and just be in the home we intend to grow in and live in fairly permanently, and sadly, it isn’t this one. Yet again.

I am open to and awaiting the message from the Universe that points us in the exact right direction.