Yesterday we took the kids to the Vancouver Aquarium - we were there all day, and we all had a blast. What amazing sights we got to see. Kiernen had so much fun, he immediately asked to return (as we were getting into the car) and has been asking to go back all day today. I took a few photos - you can click on the slideshow itself to see them larger:

I haven’t been on the computer or anywhere near the phone lately because the sun has finally come out - FINALLY! And for BC residents, that means that everyone goes outside and stays there for as long as they possibly can every day

We’ve been working lots in the garden and just being outside playing and enjoying the sun. This weekend we had a bike ride along a trail in a local park, and we’ve been out taking walks and playing in the park and just doing anything we can outside lately. It’s been days since I’ve even been on the computer.

We have a big compilation of photos we made from Quinn’s memorial on our wall in our stairway, and lately Kiernen wants to stop and look at it frequently when we’re walking on the stairs. He talks about Quinn a lot - he understands that he died (just like Gandalf and Palomei) and he says, “Quinn died. I don’t have him anymore.” Oh, my heart, my heart. We talk about the photos and he asks, “Where are me?” and we explain that Quinn was here before he was born. We go over all of this fairly regularly, as we do anything he is interested in - he wants to hear the stories of things over and over again.

Wednesdays I’m taking a beekeeping class with one of my neighbours, because we’re both really interested in beekeeping. Bees are SO fascinating! Kiernen and I went to the garden center and bought a couple of plants that attract bees. They were all over the heather and these other plants whose names escape me right now - there was this huge display just surrounded by little honeybees, and Kiernen was absolutely fascinated. So I bought two of these fragrant beauties and I told Kiernen that the bees would come to our house of we had these outside - and the very next day we had bees outside on these plants!

Kiernen was playing by the back door and came running into the kitchen to get me, saying, “Mama, I need you - come see!” I went with him and he showed me, “Look Mama! A bee!” We watched the bee through the screen door and then went outside and watched her, and I told him about how they’re collecting pollen to take back to the nest - he said, “Mama, I love the bees - they’re so cute!” He stands back and just watches them intently - I’m pretty sure that has I just let him, we’d have been at that garden store for hours just watching the bees. And I am delighted

The last photo taken of Palomei before he left his body.

MBD just left to take Palomei to the vet to be euthanized. I know that animals have no resistance (except when they hang around us humans too much), and that he is about to be released from a body that isn’t working for him anymore. I feel that this thing with our cats…are they going one by one, so we can be free to move on without them to the next place in our journey? I’ve no way of knowing. We always thought Babette would be the first to go - we thought she’d become diabetic and leave, she has always seemed the least healthy. And we kind of figured Gandalf would outlive them all - at least I did.

And in real life, Gandalf left first and now off goes Palomei - to be released into nonphysical, to rejoin Source, to be truly FREE. We will miss him so so much - he was really a great cat, despite all of the vomit and snorking and having to eat special food just to accommodate him.

So now we’ve just got the two girls, Babette and Frenzie. How will the hierarchy change without any males around here? Who will be the alpha now? How will the girls be without Pei? He has been their leader their whole lives, they’ve never ever had a life without him in it.

How the energies are changing around here - and by here I mean on this planet. we live in interesting times, indeed.

Palomei, run free - chase ethereal mice and sniff ethereal catnip, and just be in your Source. We love you so so much - thank you for being a part of our home and a part of our lives. Say hello to Gandalf for us - and enjoy ruffling with him again.

Kiernen has chicken pox and we’re pretty sure our oldest cat is dying.

Photos are here.

Kiernen is fine but itchy - the itching kept him (and therefore us) awake last night, so we’re pretty tired. We figured out that he had several pox in his bum crack and OW! A good bit of Lansinoh (that stuff is awesome) took care of that, though, and now he just tells me when he needs more ointment.

He’s got no appetite and is feeling sick just now, so has a towel in front of him, but hasn’t thrown up. He is watching DVDs galore, as is the special treat of having the Pox.

Interestingly we’ve been reading a book called “Arthur’s Chicken Pox” pretty regularly before he got the pox.

We’re having an interesting cat year. First Gandalf’s kidneys failed and he died. Then Babette got a burst blood vessel in her ear and it swelled for a long time, and we opted to just let it go down on its own after lancing it at the vet did nothing. So now she has cauliflower ear - we figure it gives her character. Her ear is still hard, we don’t know if it just hasn’t finished shrinking yet or if its staying that way. And now Palomei seems to be dying. He has had this sneezing thing that has been going on for months now, and just recently he went downhill fast, losing a third of his bodyweight. He is stuffed in both nostrils and his face seems to be swollen on one side. He isn’t eating and bites MBD when he tries to give him medicine - not like him. I suspect he is just telling him to let him die in peace.

Interesting energies afoot, for sure.

Actually, though, we’ve been having a good time lately with friends and planning our garden plots again - life has been good and busy.

The pox will be gone soon enough, and after tonight we will know better where Pei is going.

I hope people still read this, because I’m not so great at posting with any kind of regularity.

There are a few new photos on flickr.

Kiernen is: “I’m gowin and gowin, Mama.” (growing and growing)

He can do 100-piece puzzles. It takes a couple of sittings with breaks in between to diffuse, but he did a 100 piece Spider-Man puzzle with minimal help from us.

He can identify numbers up to 11 by sight. He can read numbers!

He reads some letters, too. He knows “K for Kehnen!” and several others. We’re sort of working on spelling his name, but I didn’t make it easy by what I named him, did I? He DOES know his full name, and he knows we have the same last name, MBD, him and I. He is very interested in letters, and will often stop when he sees them and name the ones he can, asking for help with the rest. He seems to know (if I remember them all) A B C E I K M N O R S T W X pretty consistently. That’s more than half of them! lol

He loves Spider-Man despite not having seen anything of him other than pictures here and there. He has Spider-Man underwear, boots and puzzles now. He also still loves Thomas, Bob the Builder, Wall-E, Lightning McQueen (the Cars movie), and Spongebob (although we have called a moratorium on watching the latter anymore, as it ends up in edginess for both of us). He LOVES his Noddy books, and plays out the stories with MBD.

My mother got him this huge book of Thomas stories and he has us read from that all the time as well, and does the same thing. I LOVE listening to him act out all of these scenes while I’m otherwise occupied. He doesn’t miss a word, either - the other night I was reading a Noddy book to him and I accidentally got a word mixed up and he corrected me immediately. So I pretended to do it a bit later in the story and he caught me and corrected me immediately again. Did I mention the Noddy books are 7-9 chapters long and have only a picture every other page? Same for the Thomas stories. Shorter, but not so many pictures.

He also very much loves the Franklin the Turtle and Arthur (from PBS) books. In fact, we make a point every time we go to a thrift store to look for these books, as they’re very popular. He has almost all of both sets. Luckily we also very much enjoy these books, as we are required to read them over and over again. Since he only has one video day a week (with few exceptions), he asks us to read to him a LOT.

He has little sayings he uses, like, “That’s what I’m talking about!” and now I am blanking on what the others are…darnit! They’re cute, too! I’ll write them down so I remember…

For his video days lately he has been watching Donald Duck/Chip and Dale on YouTube, and Postman Pat (a BBC kids show from like to 90s or something).

He is really into pretend play, as I mentioned. He will act out little scenes for HOURS. I am not able to interrupt him when he is in the middle of a scene, because he becomes SO absorbed. I’ve learned to say, “Excuse me, KIernen,” if I really need him to answer me. No amount of my just saying his name will bring him out of it otherwise. When I say, “Excuse me,” he comes right to. Everyone needs respect.

He was DELIGHTED to receive first his very own Valentine card in the mail from his Gigi and Papa, and THEN an email Valentine from his Grandma. His own mail and email! He has no idea what Valentine’s day is, but the attention and cards are just fine with him.

He is really loving living here, and he is relaxing into it well. He is getting friendlier with some of the adults and he even will sit and ask them to read with him when they visit - a high honour in his book. He is very much looking forward to visiting St. Louis again and seeing his family. He asks about it and LOVES to look at our photos from our trip there last year. Soon, soon we will know when we next get to visit again.

I actually kind of skimmed this when I first read it, because we never eat anything with HFCS in it. But then I realized that lots of folks I know DO. So I am sharing it.

MONDAY, Jan. 26 (HealthDay News) — Almost half of tested samples of commercial high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) contained mercury, which was also found in nearly a third of 55 popular brand-name food and beverage products where HFCS is the first- or second-highest labeled ingredient, according to two new U.S. studies.

HFCS has replaced sugar as the sweetener in many beverages and foods such as breads, cereals, breakfast bars, lunch meats, yogurts, soups and condiments. On average, Americans consume about 12 teaspoons per day of HFCS, but teens and other high consumers can take in 80 percent more HFCS than average.

“Mercury is toxic in all its forms. Given how much high-fructose corn syrup is consumed by children, it could be a significant additional source of mercury never before considered. We are calling for immediate changes by industry and the [U.S. Food and Drug Administration] to help stop this avoidable mercury contamination of the food supply,” the Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy’s Dr. David Wallinga, a co-author of both studies, said in a prepared statement.
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In the first study, published in current issue of Environmental Health, researchers found detectable levels of mercury in nine of 20 samples of commercial HFCS.

And in the second study, the Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy (IATP), a non-profit watchdog group, found that nearly one in three of 55 brand-name foods contained mercury. The chemical was found most commonly in HFCS-containing dairy products, dressings and condiments.

But an organization representing the refiners is disputing the results published in Environmental Health.

“This study appears to be based on outdated information of dubious significance,” said Audrae Erickson, president of the Corn Refiners Association, in a statement. “Our industry has used mercury-free versions of the two re-agents mentioned in the study, hydrochloric acid and caustic soda, for several years. These mercury-free re-agents perform important functions, including adjusting pH balances.”

However, the IATP told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that four plants in Georgia, Tennessee, Ohio and West Virginia still use “mercury-cell” technology that can lead to contamination.

IATP’s Ben Lilliston also told HealthDay that the Environmental Health findings were based on information gathered by the FDA in 2005.

And the group’s own study, while not peer-reviewed, was based on products “bought off the shelf in the autumn of 2008,” Lilliston added.

The use of mercury-contaminated caustic soda in the production of HFCS is common. The contamination occurs when mercury cells are used to produce caustic soda.

“The bad news is that nobody knows whether or not their soda or snack food contains HFCS made from ingredients like caustic soda contaminated with mercury. The good news is that mercury-free HFCS ingredients exist. Food companies just need a good push to only use those ingredients,” Wallinga said in his prepared statement.

More information

The U.S. Agency for Toxic Substances & Disease Registry has more about mercury and health.

SOURCE: Institute for Agriculture and Trade Policy, news release, Jan. 26, 2009

Ever since I took Kiernen swimming about three weeks ago now, and then gave him a bath including washing his hair that night, he has refused to have anything to do with taking a bath. He doesn’t want to go swimming with his friends, and he refuses to take a bath - even when he had a friend over to take one with him (which he loves to do). For days now I’ve been telling him we’re going to give him a bath because he needs one. Tonight we ran the bath and put his toys in and told him this is it. We reassured him over and over again that we weren’t going to wash his hair (even though it kind of needs it now) and that he could just play. Still, he refused and cried. Finally I just put him in the water. He cried a tiny bit at first, then stopped. I played with some of his toys while he just sort of sat there, then he kind of half-heartedly joined in. and now he is in there (and has been for at least 20 minutes or more) playing his little heart out. I can hear him making up elaborate stories and pretending away, just chatting and having little dialogues between whatever characters he is playing.

He is taking a bath again! Woohoo! I don’t know if I’ll get him back in that pool again, but I don’t care. And I have zero idea how I am going to get him to let me wash his hair. It happened once but it seems like a fluke right now. Ah well, baby steps, right? Because he is in the bath!

Oh my, am I becoming neglectful of the fact that I have a blog. Geesh. I wonder what’s up with that? It’s not like I’m outside a lot or anything, what with the weather here being COLD, REALLY COLD, and everything being all frost and fog everywhere. Although when the sun does peek out to remind us that it still exists, we ALL rush outside and BASK for as long as we can, yes we do.

I suppose it is living in cohousing that manages to keep me busy even though I’m sort of hibernating as I tend to do in winter. We are getting closer with some of our neighbours, ones who have kids close enough in age to Kiernen that he gets to play with them often. It has actually gotten to the point where if he doesn’t get to play with one of his little friends in a day he gets all melancholy and bored - because he has come to expect to be able to play with someone daily. And I admit I share his expectation. We’ve tried to make his movie day around his friends’ schedules so that he can watch movies on the day they’re all out somewhere. Some of them go to preschool or little kiddo music classes or go and hang out with a nanny for a couple of days a week.

From Random

Kiernen doesn’t really have any of those sorts of activities outside of Windsong, so we mostly hang out here. But still manage to socialize plenty. Good and bad? I choose to see it as good, but I sure would love some more opportunities to make friends outside of Windsong, if for no other reason than to get us out more. Not that I don’t like being here, but sometimes having so many resources available to us is a bit stunting. I cannot help but think that having these kinds of resources in DETACHED housing would be healthier to us - in that we would be going outside more, moving around in more space than just one large building. (As my thoughts meander where they will).

Winter. Hibernating. Unseasonably COLD. Feels like Eastern Canada. So weird.

Kiernen…Kiernen Kiernen Kiernen. That boy continues to amaze and delight me every day. Sometimes I feel so appreciative of the fact that I get to be his mother I feel like I’ll just burst with joy. What a delightful and challenging and sensitive and caring and snuggly and clever boy. He loves me so much - ME! He just wants to be with me every waking moment of his day. As far as he is concerned, I am the sun and the moon, and it is my job to be his constant companion. When I leave to go to Tai Chi class or to run an errand and he stays home with Daddy, he is sad - but he gives me a hug and a kiss and tells me he loves me, and waves goodbye as I go. But when I return! Oh, the greeting I get! “Mama!!! You home!!!” then he runs up to me, throws his arms around me, and wants to be held. I pick him up and he snuggles up to me, then gets down and does a happy dance. And sometimes he will also say, “Mama! I’m so happy to see you!!!”

Seriously, does life GET any better than that? Could anyone ever ask for anything more?

From Out in the Snow Dec 22 2008

We’re still living in a New England winter here, in the Pacific Northwest. We thought that perhaps the rains would wash away the snow, but they have only served to turn the snow into ice and make the roads nice and treacherous. Woohoo!

Since our decorations were up since December 1st, we’ve taken them down - the photos are on the other computer, else I’d show you the mess the needles made when we took that poor dead Charlie Brown contender out of here - so many that Kiernen was playing in them as though they were sand. Kiernen was a trooper about taking everything down, but he still asks daily for “more presents”, and today when we uploaded the video from Christmas onto the computer, was so sad about seeing himself opening presents and NOT being able to open any more NOW, that he began crying, then eventually just wailing.

I am torn between comforting him, trying to intellectualize it all for him, trying to explain this arbitrary-seeming way we dole out presents ONLY on Solstice, Christmas, and birthdays…and just thinking, “why can you not appreciate what you’ve got?” (answer: because he is THREE - right?). And he DOES appreciate what he has - it’s just that he LOVES opening presents SO much! And he gets SO many cool things in his presents - that opening MORE can only be a good thing, right? Alas, alas, the world of being a parent. I am open to suggestions from seasoned (and unconventional) veterans on how to handle this without scarring him somehow for later therapy sessions. How to foster appreciation and also allow him to just be who he is? Don’t we all just want MORE PRESENTS sometimes?

The good news is that we’ve taken the video-watching down to one day (and usually just one movie-length worth of video, tonight being the exception) without too big of a deal. And we are all happier for it. Kiernen has become accustomed now to just finding things to do rather than requesting videos ALL the time - now he only asks for them every other day, and some days not at all. We’ve been trying to be clear about video day being on FRIDAY only, and naming the day that is it when he asks. Tonight he’d not even asked and he got to watch, and more than I’d really have liked. Poor planning on my part, and it DID end up in a meltdown after. No worries, I am just reminded that right: only the movie length of time (not unlimited watching), yes there is a reason for that. Ahem.

Baths are a regular occurrence, along with pooping! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to me, I am blissed out about this! We discovered that we’ve been harboring an abundance of tub toys in this house in the guise of regular old toys, and now he asks to take baths just so he can play with all of them IN THE WATER - huzzah! Fear of baths is a thing of the past! Whee!

This winter is turning out so differently than last year - we are really making lots of social connections here now, and Kiernen has several little friends to choose from to play with on a fairly regular basis. In fact, I’ve been taking advantage of this fact so much that it has become more a part of my routine than remembering to plan and make meals for the week, and as a result, I am seeing I need to adjust something in my routine. It has become that we wake up, get dressed, go upstairs, then as we are making breakfast, we call one or two of his playmates and invite them over to play. Then while they are here, I try and make myself my morning stuff and usually get interrupted about a hundred times to get stuff for the kids or intervene in some kind of dispute they are having. So my 15-minute morning juice ends up taking me 45 minutes to make, and I’m lucky if I get to drink it before lunchtime.

A happy problem to have - too many social opportunities! I will find my balance easily and soon.

Funny - as we are adjusting happily to living here, we are still trying to figure out where we want to make our forever home. As Kiernen gets comfortable with this place as his home, we are thinking about the bigger picture and where we REALLY want to live. Unfortunately there are some things I failed to consider in my excitement of moving into cohousing, and some of them are things one couldn’t possibly consider unless one had already lived here. I am not going to go much farther into this topic, as it is a post in itself, but I will say that there is MUCH to think about, and that I feel quite like I’m just not sure where we’re supposed to be anymore. We’re ALL ready to settle in and just be in the home we intend to grow in and live in fairly permanently, and sadly, it isn’t this one. Yet again.

I am open to and awaiting the message from the Universe that points us in the exact right direction.

Happy Solstice! We’re still snowed in - it just keeps snowing and snowing. So weird.

We’ve been having a brilliant time.

Solstice Greetings 2008 from Purple Goddess on Vimeo.

Also bonus photos: Kids in the snow

Kiernen and the Snowman

General Things We’ve Done in December

Kiernen Decorating the Tree

Friday MBD went across the border to pick up some packages from the various grandparents while Kiernen and I got to stay home and hang out with friends. Friday is video day around here, and Kiernen and I were invited to M and K’s house to watch “Horton Hears a Who”. Good times were had by all - until it was time to go, of course. I cannot remember what happened the rest of Friday after naptime.

Saturday Kiernen and I got together with some other neighbours (Mama is L and kiddo is A). We were playing out in the commonhouse with them and then they invited us over to lunch. Kiernen remembered us having lunch there before, and requested (turkey) hot dogs - which it just happened that she had. The kids had a lovely time playing together and the Mamas had a grand time chatting. When it was time to go home, no one wanted to part, but naptime is a powerful call, and so we did.

Saturday night we went to my cousin’s for her Solstice party and were sent home with Holiday cookies and truffles - delicious! Kiernen had fun playing with his cousin - we were one of two families that decided to brave the weather and go. It is interesting to talk to my cousin, because I get an entire new side of the family I really never knew: she talks lots about my (deceased) uncle (her adopted father) and Nanny, our great-grandma. She really loved them both so much and she misses Nanny especially. Anything she has from her is cherished. She really spent a lot of time with Nanny, and has stories I’d never have suspected. I get to know a whole different Nanny, entirely different from the strict Englishwoman I knew. I love it. And I get to learn about my uncle, too.

Today Kiernen got to open his Solstice gifts - he was delighted! And in true three-year-old fashion, once the gifts were finished, he said, “More! More!”

My bio father, who is an accomplished artist, sent me a gift: a necklace he’d made for his Mom that returned to him when she died. He hand-forged the entire thing, chain and all. It is a BIG silver cross with a blue sapphire in it. It’s really lovely. Crosses aren’t my thing, of course, so I’ll keep that put away in a safe place - it really is gorgeous. I’ve got to get a photo. But the chain I put another pendant on and I’ve got it around my neck. It feels really good - heavy and solid. I like it. They gave Kiernen a Planet Earth DVD of chimpanzees and a furry chimpanzee friend to go with it. He gets to watch it when he wakes from his nap. Generally we’re only doing videos on Friday, but as this is Solstice, he’s been allowed to eat cookies all day and he’ll be able to watch the DVD.

Christmas seems so far away now! I want to give him ALL of the presents - the ones for Xmas as well….but we’ll wait. It is as hard for me as it is for him! * laughs *